7. lokakuuta 2012

Check-up Time

my exercise equipments

I have spend plenty of time lately on the out side of my confort zome.
Searching the area - trying out new things.
Sofar I have done pretty good.
Emotionally I mean.
Put lately I've noticed that I might have have been  slipping.
Slipping back to eat-vagabondly-to-shut-down-me-feelings -road.
candy here, more cheesecake there, one macaron just after another and 2 cupcakes at the time.
but now Im noticing it.
so, practically I feel like a winner.
I would be too much for me to ask myself no to secure at all, on to those familiar -my long time frenemies- surviving methods, while stepping drastically out of my comfort zone

Im not sad or dissapointed to myself at all.
And that is something I state as a personal growth here.
You see, I invested my youth in diets, binges and self-hatred.
so, no more of that road.
I know I need to do some changes, before everything gets too complicated again.
I need to go and see my therapist.
Have a good and long conversation with her.
I need to focus myself and check that I am really breathing.
(checking the fact that I really am breathing lets me focus unconditionally to myself for a moment)
I also need to clarify more what me and my body really wants.
like suffing myself up with six macarons, do i really want that?
most likely I just need feel some comfort.
( I really do not like macrons at all, I just loooove the colorful outlook of them)

I would like to challenge myself to try out rawfood for a week.
Rawfood sounds interestin.
Sofar, I do not have any experience of rawfood and no idea how to start.
but I have a dream  - I want to try rawfood
I said it out loud, so my dream has a form now.
now I wait and search openly, to see where the world has set up the next clue that leads me towards my dream.

Mr H

I hope you all had a good weekend sofar!
( mine is allmost good, this freking flue is spoiling my mood a bit. I hatehatehate whenever a flu stops by to see me)

With Love,

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